Someone asked me what I meant when I said that my practice was to remain open when I felt myself wanting to close. They wanted to know what that actually looks like. The best way to describe what I’m talking about is through an example.
I will use an example of the heart. If deep down you believe that you are unlovable or unworthy of love, you will actually push away love when it does present itself to you. You will not be able to recognize it because you will unconsciously search for evidence to support your belief that you are unlovable. That’s how our minds work! Our mind is like a computer that seek evidence to support our beliefs. Period.
So if someone comes into your life and expresses interest, you will start looking for subtle things to prove that “see the person doesn’t love me”. I knew it. This is how it always ends. You will unconsciously sabotage the relationship to support your belief.
The way out of this is awareness! Start paying attention to your tendency to draw conclusions about what things mean. When you are in conversations with people, how often are you really listening to what is being said and how often are you listening through your filters of what you “think” is being said based on your belief?
The truth is, you can’t really hear when you are listening through your filters. You will only hear what you want to hear, what is consistent with your belief and often times it’s not accurate or clear.
So when I say to remain open, what I mean is to notice yourself telling these stories, drawing these conclusions and instead of shutting down and saying “see, this is what is true” – remain open to the possibility of a different outcome. Remain open to the possibility that the person could mean something else. Remain open to possibility in general.
This is how you drop your story. This is how you shift your belief. You become willing for it to show up in a different way. You don’t have to figure it out, you don’t have to struggle. You only have to be aware of when you are doing it and make a choice to remain open to a different outcome.
Otherwise, you will keep creating the same scenarios over and over and over again. Wondering why you. Believing that this is your cold hard reality that you are victim to, the way life is. When the truth is you are creating it.
Isn’t that freeing?? You hold the keys to shifting any situation in your life! And the key is #1 becoming aware of what you’re doing #2 remaining open to it being different this time.
In the beginning you may still create the same scenario a few times but if you remain open each time this shows up, you will eventually create a new flow and will see changes and before long, you will be experiencing a totally different reality that before looked impossible. Give it a try!
For the next few days. Start paying attention to the stories you tell yourself and others about “the way things are”. When situations arise, what are you telling yourself to be true about the situation? What type of conclusions do you draw about things that happen in your life?
PS. If you are ready to shine a light, bring more awareness and break through old beliefs in your life. PM me. Let’s work together! Coaching makes a HUGE difference in our ability to create shifts!